Advertisements

Brunette Review

brunette_no1

Howdy, ladies and gentlemen. This go around I’ve been allowed to have the distinct
displeasure of reviewing Brunette by Josh Crampton.

In my entire 28 years of existence as a human being on the planet Earth, I have read
some bad comics in my time, but, this book takes the express elevator to the top of the
trash heap. I feel very confident in declaring Brunette “Worst Comic Book Ever”.

brunette-3

First of all, the artwork looks looks like it came straight out of the sketchbook of a kid
who still rides the short bus to school. Seriously, I’ve seen better artwork come out of
an Elementary school art class. At one point while reading this book, my retinal nerves
actually started to ache. The so-called panels which are more accurately described as
run-on squares expose the fact that Josh Crampton has zero concept of depth
perception or shadowing. The artwork can be summed up in the following phrase: a
bunch of flat black lines on a white background.

Now don’t get me wrong here. I like looking at naked women as mush as the next
guy, but, Crampton’s obsession with drawing a pair of boobs every third or fourth panel
simply reeks sexual frustration. Not to mention making your main character a manbashing
lesbian. Also, there is a creature with a canine head and a human female body
with could be interpreted as the author’s fascination with bestiality.

Then the utterly atrocious dialogue reads like it was written be someone with a
severe case of Tourette’s Syndrome. There is so much cursing and new age slang in the
speech of the characters that it eventually gets to a point where the reader can’t follow
along with the dialogue even in the simplest of conversations. Here is another point
that shows off Crampton’s tragically lacking vocabulary skills.

brunette-2

One thing that is confusing about the main character, Brunette, is that she
inexplicably has fangs. I couldn’t ever seem to figure out if she was supposed to be a
vampire or a half-orc. Other than that, Crampton goes to the trouble of referencing
She-Hulk on a few different occasions throughout the book. Okay, we get it. You’re a
She-Hulk fanboy and she was clearly a major inspiration for you.

Another thing that seemed completely nonsensical was the idea of naming a
recurring character “The Emerald Armor” when your book is completely black and
white.

To further my point, I was a good thing Josh Crampton decided to add a character
index in the back of the book considering that once you get there the characters are
described almost exactly opposite of how they’re portrayed in the main story.

The only thing more offensive than reading this is actually having the nerve to ask for
money for it. You would be making a better investment by going to your local plant
nursery and buying plain old dirt.

On a personal note. Here is my best advice: Mr. Crampton, do yourself a favor and
quit making comics altogether. Don’t quit your day job. Find a new career path. It is
painstakingly obviously isn’t what your meant for in the grand scheme of the universe.

This 40+ page wet turd and other Brunette stories can found at Josh Crampton’s
main website: JoshuaJamesCrampton.com

More information on Brunette can be found on Petty Cash Comix’s Facebook page.

Advertisements

No comments yet... Be the first to leave a reply!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s